Tag Archives: life lessons

Dealing With Troublemakers

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“ A dishonest man spreads strife.”

We all know them. They are troublemakers. Troublemakers are people who are so miserable in their own life that the only thing that makes them happy is starting trouble between other people, stirring the pot, and then sitting back and gleefully watching the outcome of the trouble they created.

It has taken me awhile but I have recently discovered a major troublemaker in my circle of friends and family. I had noticed that every single person that this person and I know in common suddenly stops talking to me. When, to the best of my knowledge, I had done nothing to any of these people to upset them I prayed about it and God revealed to me the source of the trouble was one person. One person who I have had discernment about for sometime. One person who was at one time close to God but through sexual addictions has opened a door to every demonic spirit one can imagine. Several years ago the person had pictures online of them in church. Then, apparently, they got involved with a bad person or two and you can see that Satan has entered their life now and as they say, “in spades.”

Because most Christians are sensitive people, when we don’t have on the armor of God, when we don’t have the gift of discernment in knowing how to best deal with these troublemakers, they can easily get under our skin, disrupting our home and lives, pulling us into their lion’s den.

All it takes is one Satan filled demon from hell to turn your whole office, family and or friends against you.

At first, when you are the target, you think as a Christian that you can simply pray for them and be kind to them and they will change their ways. I considered that, and frankly I have been praying for the person for years. I prayed for them long before their jealousy of my life led them to try and destroy my ministry and my life.

Upon studying the Bible, regarding the way Jesus handled trouble makers, I came to the knowledge that Jesus used diverse ways in handling troublemakers. Some times he confronted them with anger and outrage while telling followers to pray for these people.

You can try ignoring them but most of them, I have found, become further upset and then do anything they can to get your attention.

I honestly believe the best way to handle them is to go to the people who no longer speak to you and tell them what you suspect the person, the troublemaker, of doing. Their favorite tactic is to tell someone you said something about them. Something hurtful. You can then try and set the record straight. Unfortunately these troublemakers are very skilled at what they do and sometimes the offended friend will NOT believe you.

To my friends in ministry, of any type, I want to warn you of something some of you already know and that is the fact that ministry can be very lonely. We have very few friends because of the anointing Christ has on our lives. Other Christians, out of jealousy, look for something to accuse you of. If you, being human, have a hard day and share that with a friend, the next thing you know it’s used against you. Be very careful of who you share with!

Troublemakers need to be exposed. I have found, as I fast and pray about the situation, God reveals to me how to deal with the problem. He also starts to out the troublemakers to others who then begin to see the truth.

You want to give a troublemaker as little ammunition against you as possible so, after praying, God may tell you to unfollow them on FB, and cut them out of your life. If you have to work with them plead the blood of Jesus over yourself anytime you come into contact with them. Ask God to turn the arrows they are attacking you with right back onto them. God once, during prayer, gave me a vision of a shield of armor surrounding me, as a circular fence. Every time the troublemaker shot malicious arrows my way they bounced off the shield of armor and went back onto the troublemaker.

Do not, and I know it’s so hard, get anxious about a troublemaker. Remember, and quote often, the following scripture;

“Greater is He who is within ME then he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4.

Lastly, the Word tells us to ignore troublemakers. Set things straight with others, if you can, and then simply try to not think of it all the time. Stop anxiety thoughts and place your mind elsewhere. Then give it to God and try to forgive them, through Christ, who has forgiven you and me of so very much!

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. – James 4:7

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie

Anxiety Caused By Financial Stress

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Living beyond our means causes a whole lot of our anxiety. Pray to get your finances into control. Quit buying things you cannot afford. Pay off your credit cards a little at a time. When our lives are out of control there will be disorder in every area. Disorder breeds stress.

I know of where I speak. I was once totally out of control financially. It caused me undue stress worrying about things I didn’t have to worry about because I spent money as a means of avoiding depression. I would often have to stress over obligations because of spending money on stuff I did not need. In the past ten years if I can’t pay cash for something I just don’t buy it. That life-change took God turning my life around and teaching me self-control.

Spending money we don’t have becomes an addiction, a high. You can start today to get it under control and live within your means. Worrying about paying bills is one of the greatest destroyers of relationships. Anytime you feel you have to spend money on someone to keep them you have a bad problem. I extend that to our children too. Build memories through family activities that don’t involve spending money.

I have had two dear friends die, in the past few years, who were not only paying their own bills but those of their grown children. They were afraid to say “NO” for fear their children wouldn’t love them or spend time with them. That’s emotional blackmail! Worry and stress killed them. There is no doubt in my mind. If you are an adult with a job learn to live on your own money.

Some of us need to grow up and live responsibly. Pray and lay your finances at the feet of Jesus, ask Him humbly about teaching you to live responsibly. If you need help email me at mscathie123@yahoo.com. I will give you a list of books that really helped me.

It’s amazing how quickly God will come to your side with help once you admit you are out of control!

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie

Satan Wants To Destroy You

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Satan is not stupid. He has been studying you since the day you were born because his goal, his only goal, is to take as many people to hell with him as possible.

He will bring something or someone that looks like everything you have ever wanted to destroy you.

You will be so thrilled with the person you will forget they aren’t a bible believing Christian. You will be so thrilled with the car you won’t see that you will have to work two jobs to keep it. You will be so in love with the beautiful house on the hill that you will forget the fact that you wanted a starter home to build up equity and not have to rent anymore.

So many times well meaning Christians are in bad situations because of Satan putting something in front of them they really didn’t need in order to destroy them and their peace.

If you are there today pray in contrite sorrow and ask God to forgive you for putting things and people before Him. When we sincerely repent God comes on the scene and delivers us. Learn from the lessons, beloved of the Lord, and vow to God you will not repeat them. Put him in the center of all your decisions and you will do the right thing!

John 10:10 New International Version The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie

Dead Churches Spawn Dead Christians

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Our first impression of Christianity begins at home. Some people had parents who argued all the way to church and started praising God the minute they opened the door to the church, sat through the sermon and started arguing again the minute they got in the car to go home. Some people had supposedly Christian parents who used drugs and abused alcohol. Some people had parents who had affairs while married and their children knew it. So when people saw hypocrites, first hand, it turned them against God. They believe all Christians are hypocrites because of what they saw at home.

Let me just say the minute you leave home, and are on your own, YOU are responsible for your relationship with God not your parents.

If the Church your family of origin went to spawned half baked Christians then it stands to reason that’s not the church for victorious Christians. Close that door and find an on fire for the Lord church!

Christianity is not boring when you find the right church with people who live God all through the week and not just Sunday. These people get together for a whole lot of fun things, football games, dinner, Valentine’s Day. These people study the Bible together and counsel one another when they have hard times!

You will never grow in a church where people do what they please and take God along. God’s rules for us does not mean he is an old meanie. I have learned his rules are to help me live a successful and peaceful life. The Bible is a guidebook for successful living.

Tomorrow is Sunday find a couple of on fire churches and visit one each Sunday until you find one that feels like home. Don’t stay stuck in dead churches and then expect your life to change for the better!

Just saying…..

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie

Self Control

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Self control is not something we get by gritting our teeth and forcing ourselves to “ just say no.” In the Bible self-control is referred to as a fruit of the Spirit. Fruit doesn’t instantly pop out on a tree. As the tree grows and seasons pass, the fruit naturally develops. As we continue to follow God’s guidance, taking one step at a time, our self control will gradually grow. Our job is to stay connected to God. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to produce the fruit of self control in our lives. Galatians 5:16-17.

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie

Bearing False Witness

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New Living Translation

Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.

Psalm 55:22

Making false accusations simply to keep an anti-abortion judge off the Supreme Court is dangerous territory.

I am not anti-women. I am anti-lying. I have sought God over this in prayer and my God given discernment tells me these people are lying.

If they succeed they have just taught a nation of people it’s okay to lie. I don’t care what YOU do for a living you could also become a target. You say something someone doesn’t like and you then can be accused of sexual abuse. Then they will examine YOUR life under a microscope. How would you feel if it was your father, brother or Son being accused?

This is WRONG. I thank you for letting me vent.

Psalm 35:1-20

Of David. Contend, O Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me! Take hold of shield and buckler and rise for my help! Draw the spear and javelin against my pursuers! Say to my soul, “I am your salvation!” Let them be put to shame and dishonor who seek after my life! Let them be turned back and disappointed who devise evil against me! Let them be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the Lord driving them away! …

In God’s Unconditional Love,

Cathie Miller

Those Who Reject God And His People

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“Do not cast your pearls before swine. Do not waste good things on people who will not appreciate them. This proverb is adapted from a saying of Jesus from the Gospels, “Cast not pearls before swine.” Jesus appears to be warning his disciples to preach only before receptive audiences.”

Earlier this year the Lord spoke to my heart to share something with someone who is saved but obviously backslidden. As I started to do that she looked me right in the eye and walked away and out of the room.

I felt bad because I realized it wasn’t just me she was rejecting but God. When she looked me in the eye I saw not her but a demon operating through her.

I decided at that time that she made a choice. Not only to be disrespectful to me but, much more importantly, to God.

So we have to remember that some people are not EVER going to be receptive to the truth. Some people will have to go through more before they cry out to God to “save me, Father!” And since we don’t know which way it will go we must shake the dust from our feet and move on to where we are needed.

New International Version

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. Matthew 7:6

In His Unconditional Love

Cathie Miller

http://www.helpforgodshurtingpeople.com

Self-Pity is Ugly

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Sometimes there is a pay-off for constant self-pity, playing the victim, etc. The pay-off is attention. Another pay-off is using these things as an excuse for not achieving goals.

At first the attention is given by people who feel sorry for the person…..but ten plus years down the road people start to avoid people who play the victim.

It’s not that some don’t have reasons for their victim mentality. Years of devastation, betrayal, rejection and loss have occurred.

God wants to heal the years the locust have eaten away. Like my favorite song says, “He’s a way-maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness..”

Only His supernatural healing power will restore you!

Joel 2:24-26

…24The threshing floors will be full of grain, and the vats will overflow with new wine and oil. 25I will repay you for the years that the swarming locusts have eaten— the young locust, the destroying locust, and the devouring locust My great army that I sent against you. 26You will have plenty to eat, until you are satisfied. You will praise the name of the LORD your God, who has worked wonders for you. My people will never again be put to shame.…

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie Miller

He’s Your Ride Or Die God

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“This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.b I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” Jeremiah 29:10-14
Sometimes our lives make absolutely no sense at all. We have a vision of what we want our lives to look like but then things happen that were not in our script. Things like job lay offs, illnesses, tragedies, misunderstandings and betrayals. People come and people go unexpectedly and suddenly we are in the middle of a life we hadn’t planned on having.

In my life I have learned that these changes, these life-events, force us to face our vulnerabilities. Some of these changes we face in life make us realize that we are not perfect and we can’t do things the way we want to do them anymore.

If you are lucky you will have one or two “ride or die” friends that stick by you during these unexpected life changes. But truthfully those friends are rare. There is an old song with a line in it that goes, “Nobody wants you when you are down and out.” Maybe like me you found that out too.

I had one person I considered a ride or die friend, but then I found out she had told things about my life, and problems, to her whole family. As a matter of fact some of them listened in to our phone conversations. That betrayal was painful, but in the long run it only served to bring me closer to God and left her wondering why I no longer wanted to be her friend.

Like me you may have found that God is the only person who you can go to and be honest with about your feelings that will not betray you and derive pleasure from your downfall.

When, due to my husband’s catastrophic illness, we lost our entire savings our life changed in so many ways. Losing our life savings, due to all the things that come along with health challenges that health insurance just doesn’t cover, caused life changes in our living style. We lived in a beautiful 3,000 square foot home at the time, and then, when that got too expensive we leased a home to buy it because our credit was ruined too. We lost that home due to a breach of contract by the crazy owner, and ended up in a small home that we were thankful to have. At one time it looked as if we would be living in our car.

Instead of offering actual help many people either ignored us, gossiped about us, or offered to pray for us. Yes, the prayer is much needed but showing up and just helping works well too. Many times people in life crisis are too depressed to even get dressed so understand that too!

I could go on and on but I know that many of you reading this could tell your own stories. You are here, but holding on to your faith in God like a titanic survivor holding onto a life raft.

Don’t try to make much sense of it because I have found that do to that is a horrible waster of time and brings in a horrible sense of self-pity. You start thinking about one thing that is wrong and then that cascades into a series of thinking of everything else that went wrong. Before you know it you are in bed, can’t get up or get dressed and horribly depressed.

As a counselor I have heard many tales of people trying to cope with life changes in bizarre ways. My favorite by far is the one of a woman whose marriage fail completely apart a week after her husband had sent her a dozen roses at work for her birthday. After bragging to everyone at work about how blessed she was to have him she found out he was not only involved with another woman but the woman was pregnant with his child. She went to the store and bought a case of Jiffy Peanut Butter and sat in bed with a spoon eating it and throwing the empty jars on the floor. When she finally let her mother into the house her mother saw the trail of empty peanut butter jars and spoons and said, “Honey, you have to snap out of this.” Yes, we both laughed about it. However, if you have ever been anywhere close to devastated in life, you can certainly understand.

Until I really experienced it myself I never knew the desperation behind the statement, “What am I going to do now!”

I want you to know that there is hope, you will make it. You don’t think so, but you will. You will come out the other side of this much a much better person then you were before. You will survive.

The key is to come to terms with the problem. Realize it won’t change but that’s okay you ARE GOING TO MAKE IT. Once you can quit feeling sorry for yourself you simple get up, shower, dress and set about to create a new story of your life. In this story you are the heroine that overcomes. You will put one foot in front of the other and survive and learn so much in doing so. One step at a time and one day at a time. You are fierce and you are strong. You are not going to let whatever broke you destroy you. Against all odds you are going to make a new, beautiful life for yourself. The only ones who don’t make it, truthfully, are the ones who don’t accept the truth and determine to move on.

You are going to have to do that anyway, so why not today! Change your story, write a new script. In this story you, like Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind, make up your mind that as God is your witness you will never be destroyed like this again! You are a survivor. Life messed with the wrong person!

Pray and ask God to help you. He will, He is just waiting for you to get up first. When he healed the man outside of the waters of Bethesda he said to the man, “Get up. Take your mat and get up!” Then, God worked in his behalf and healed him. He will do the same for you!

In God’s Unconditional Love,
Cathie Miller

If you are interested in Christian counseling please contact me through my webpage contact page which can be found through the link below. I counsel over the phone and you pay through PayPal.

www.helpforgodshurtingpeople.com

To His Precious Hurting Child

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John 10:10 (GNT) The thief comes only in order to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come in order that you might have life – life in all its fullness.

Never forget that the devil is a foe who constantly seeks to destroy us. Why? Because he knows his eventual end is Hell. He wants company there. He hates God and wants to steal His children.

Today while praying I sensed in the spirit there are many being hurt needlessly by someone on a regular basis. You think if you ignore them and love them unconditionally they will feel bad and change. In the meantime each day you feel a little bit worse about yourself.

Please remember that not everyone who calls themselves a Christian really is. Just like you don’t become a car by sitting in a garage, you don’t become a Christian by sitting in a church.

In an effort to destroy you the devil is using this person and the hurtful words that come out of their mouth. Pray for God’s salvation for this person because without a total commitment to God they won’t change.

Get out now and remove yourself from Satan’s territory.

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie Miller

Email me for counseling or prayer!