I am not usually a complainer. I have found out the hard way that complaining does no good and it actually is a lack of faith. Even as I write this I know that it will work out and that God has this and that it will be okay.
The thing is I am not perfect. You are not perfect either and as long as we wear these suits of flesh we will be subject to having days when we miss it, we miss the mark.
I was so looking forward to today for the longest time. Why you ask? Today was to be the very last student loan payment I had to make. I have had them automatically taken out of my account and today was to be the last day of a payment that would have been a car payment for most people. Instead we drive a 17 year old car, it looks okay and is in good condition and we are blessed to have it.
I woke up at 2:30 AM and was excited to check my account to make sure that the one last payment was gone and I would have the full amount of my direct deposit. Note to self, do not check you bank account at 2:30 AM when customer service everywhere is closed. So sure enough instead of the amount of my last payment, the department of education took out a whole lot more. I was in shock. I had no idea what was going on. The very next thought I had was, “ Why God? Can’t just one thing go right in my life?”
I slept little as I waited for Customer Service at the Department Of Education to open. I kept telling myself that God has this. I need to sleep and get my rest. But since I couldn’t seem to find a rational reason for what was happening I had a hard time doing that.
Finally I get through and I got a guy who must have been on his first day on the job today. I had him on speaker phone and both my husband and I were in shock. I could not get him to understand what had happened. He said, “Would you like to set up payments?” I said, several times, “I am calling because today was the last day of making payments and you not only took my payment but 3 times my payment.” He just couldn’t understand and I asked for a supervisor. By now my husband and I could not believe that the Dept. of Education, of all places, had people working there who couldn’t understand my problem. I also realized now that it was a Satanic attack. I couldn’t explain it any other way. No one could be that confused.
Finally I get the supervisor who tells me that I have to summit a paper to have the payments stopped and that he can do this for me. I told him that I was told they would be stopped automatically when the loan was paid off and he informed me that I was wrong. He also gave me the bad news that it would be 45 days before I could get the amount over and above my payment removed and refunded. To cheer me up he told me he would send me a letter stating my account to be paid in full. No reason for why this happened but he says it happens often. Great!
I am learning to live one day at a time. Anytime I make plans for the future I often have them not come through and I often have to start over in another direction anyway.
God tells us to live one day at a time like the Israelites who God would only give manna to for one day at a time. God knew that if they had plenty they would not put him first. I would like to think I would never, at this point in time, NOT put God first. But God knows us better then we know ourselves.
I had plans for a real turkey dinner this year with all the trimmings and a Christmas tree because I had to sell mine when everything went to heck in a hand basket financially because of my husbands 3 month hospital stay and all the bills that went with it. Now, it will be slim pickings but I thank Him that at least we have a roof over our head and others do not.
One more thing….We have to be so careful with the words that come out of our mouths. My husband and I pray together daily and each time we say the following, “No weapon formed against us will prosper!” They don’t prosper but they do happen. Today for example, it isn’t prospering but it is going to be hard for the next couple of months.
I said to my husband today, “We need to change our decree. We need to pray that we have no weapons formed against us at all. He agreed.
So I wrote this for a couple of reasons. So many times because I don’t complain people think I live in this wonderful bubble. It’s not true. Most of the time it’s just the opposite. Satan throws darts at me daily. I have learned, as hard as it is, that I must trust in God. Everything will work out. It always does. Today would have been an easy day for me to say, “That’s it, I cannot take anymore, God!” I made the CHOICE to keep on being faithful to Him. He is all I have and nothing bad comes from His hands.
Secondly, we MUST WATCH OUR PRAYERS! We might be using words that are actually cursing our situation and not helping it.
I have learned that what you say is what you get. From now on I will accept no weapon thrown against us! I will watch my words.
You have to be careful and precise with your prayers. For instance don’t just pray for a Christian mate but be specific with God. Write down 5 things your Christian mate needs to have for you to be happy with them. You don’t want just a Christian mate. You want one that prays with you, that knows the Word of God, that puts God first and you second. Then get specific with the physical attributes.
We must be so careful with our words. I do not want weapons formed against us to not prosper, I just don’t want weapons thrown at us from Satan at all.
In His Unconditional Love,