At my age I have lived through a lot of people I knew, and a lot of people I loved,dying. It’s the unexpected deaths that are the hardest. The first unexpected death I remember was a friend who simply dropped dead on the basketball court,at Manzano High School in Albuquerque, when he was fifteen years old. We later found out he had a heart problem nobody was aware of.

We never expect to lose our loved ones. I lost both of my parents when I was young. It was the times,and the memories of those times, holidays, birthdays, that were so lonely without them. There were times when I reached a goal or got a promotion and I was excited and felt like calling my greatest supporters, mom and dad, and they weren’t there. There were the Mother’s and Father’s Day celebrations where all of the other people I knew had their parent and I was alone.

I went through years of depression due to being alone in the world. I really understand loss because of struggling through my own.

Sometimes people ask me, “How can you still believe in God after all the losses you have suffered?”

I cling to Him because I have found he will never leave us, never turn against us, and he loves us unconditionally even when we aren’t being loving. He is my Heavenly Father and Mother!

When we come to crossroads in our lives we have a choice. When things seem horribly unfair we have a choice. When we lose someone unexpectedly we have a choice. We can trust God or curse God.

I choose to believe that all things in my life work together for good. I choose to believe that God has a plan and that He uses the hardest things in our lives to take us, like lumps of coal, and turn us into diamonds.

As hard as life can be I could never make it without Him.